One of my blogging buddies, Matt, has a pretty unique blog, where he writes about controversial topics such as abortion, church structure, and what Christianity should really look like. I found Susan's story through his blog, and she was gracious enough to let me share it here.
My childhood was stressful. I had little emotional support and years of verbal abuse. By the time my teen years rolled around I was angry and hurting. I just wanted someone to love me, encourage me, hold me and assure me that everything would be OK .
I was attractive and began to find my worth in looks alone. I’m sure that you can imagine where that led. I quit school, ran away from home, moved in with various friends, and even hitchhiked around the U.S. I wanted to get as far away as I could because anywhere was better than home. I was rough around the edges and oh so guarded.
At the age of eighteen I got pregnant. My boyfriend of only a few months and I moved in together. His patience and kindness slowly began to wash away the bitterness and life was good. We got to know each other and realized that we were becoming one. We were in love and wanted to get married.
Having a baby completely changed my life. I fell in love with someone new! A beautiful little girl named Danielle. When she was 6 months old another wonderful thing happened. I met Jesus Christ. I had no religious background so it was a true leap of faith; somehow I knew that Christ was indeed the answer.
I began to attend a church in the area. The congregation seemed to embrace me, at least for a little while. Until I learned that it wasn't OK to marry Danielle's dad because he wasn't saved. I had never attended church before and couldn't understand the big fuss about marrying my baby's daddy. Wasn’t it the right thing to do? I wanted to please Jesus. My desire was to get my life straightened out and do things His way.
The assistant pastor told us in no uncertain terms that we were unequally yoked and shouldn't be married. John loved me and was willing to meet with the leaders to try to work things out. What happened that night was quite unexpected. Our meeting turned from loving to forceful. John had to commit his life to Christ immediately if we wanted to be in the church.
Our minds were reeling. Now, living together was sinful AND getting married was sinful! Was this actually what my new friend who died for me wanted?
I decided to step away from church to get married. I could feel the eyes of my "new-family" glaring at me as I walked through town. I felt sick inside. I started shopping in other towns for fear of seeing someone from church.
John was Catholic so we decided to see if the local priest would meet with us. He was funny and kind and encouraged us to commit ourselves to each other in front of both God and our family. We even took the required premarital classes and enjoyed them! After the ceremony we scooped up our precious thirteen month old daughter and the three of us walked down the isle. I was flooded with a strange peace that I figured was the kind that "passes all understanding."
In April my husband and I will celebrate 28 years of marriage. He did accept Christ four years after we got married, but not because he was forced. He was loved. It took me years to heal from that wound but I did heal. And only because I learned to keep my eyes on Jesus.
